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I thought that when my sister Sarah finally finished her book, and sold it to the public so they could read all about her, she’d stop talking about her book. Well, Psychiatrist, she’s still talking about it. I thought her obsession with her own ribald tales was a symptom of nerves about the impending release of her memoir. But now that it’s been out for months, she talks about it more and more every day. The book is always on her mind. If I call to make a weekend playdate with her children, we inevitably end up analyzing the meaning of her book’s rise and fall in sales on Amazon. I told her I was pregnant last month and her response was: “ Oh, that’s great news! That means my paperback will come out at the same time as your baby!” I answer my cell phone in church to hear her breathless, agitated. Sure it’s an emergency, I run out of the lobby with my phone, missing the end of the sermon. “There’s a great review of my book in USA Today! Make sure to pick up five copies for yourself in case you lose four of them!” Click. When the Catholic Church wanted to give my mother a St. Anthony Medal in a special ceremony in New Orleans, Mom told me she didn’t want it because she didn’t live her life to get a reward and besides she was a bad person. When I told Sarah she groaned, “It’s because of my book. I’m sure of it.” Oh, Psychiatrist, I know this seems like sibling rivalry. And my sister and I have always been competitive. But I assure you, I really love her book and am glad that she wrote it. I’m asking for help, not for myself, but for my sister Sarah. Her bibliobsession is now threatening her marriage. The other night she called me, angry at her husband. “HE was lying around watching TV and then he got mad at ME because I told him he was being lazy because he’s obviously traumatized by the fact that I wrote a book.” Oh, Psychiatrist, please talk to my sister. Please convince her to take up the guitar and put out an album. We’ll all be glad to hear about it all next year instead of the book. Thank
you in advance for your consideration, |
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